Ugh

Oh man what a week. No desire to work, workout or eat well. This happens to me every few months and I ponder taking medication to help with the ever do needed “pick me up”. I try everything except antidepressants and now I wonder if I should dive in instead of fumbling through these really dark and murky waters. Ugh. I am so over this. I have been struggling with depression and ridiculously unrealistic expectations of myself since I was 11. Where in the world does this come from? How is this learned? Is it purely chemical? So lost people…I really am.

2 thoughts on “Ugh

  1. I’m so glad I’ve found your site and I love your candor.

    I remember when my Dad found out about my depression and he said, “What do you have to be depressed about? You have a nice home, a nice husband, etc…” I don’t think he could imagine that feeling of getting up in the morning and not wanting to crawl right back into bed. It’s a darkness. I have been on antidepressants for over 20 years. I am mellower, but I still get those horrible dark feelings, which I take out on my poor husband.

    When I do feel happy, I just want it to stay like that and I’m afraid of going back down that hole.

    I just wanted to tell you that if you want the help, it’s there. You HAVE to give it time to work though and you must be dedicated that if one antidepressant doesn’t do anything, the next one may be the perfect one.

    I wish you and your family all the best. You sound really strong so you know what’s best for you.
    Tovah

  2. Tovah,
    Thank you for your kind words. I have been so tardy in handling my blog. 4 year olds, a full time job and my other blog keep me busy. :)
    I do appreciate you making a lovely comment. It is empowering knowing that other women go through the same thing and I do go in and out of that darkness. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, which makes it easier to handle when I feel the depth approaching. I started taking Vitex Chaste to help with my mood swings and it is crazy how much it helps. It acts as a natural anti depression and so far…the dips are much less erratic.
    I intend to work on my blog a little more and take the time for myself to speak to anyone who wants to listen.
    So check back….I will keep this going. Words like yours make the fire within spark up…I didn’t realize anyone was reading. :)
    Thanks again.
    Sara

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